About My Upcoming Book

From the Prelude to my book which is still in progress...

This is not so much a story as it is a journey, echoed in the journals of time and spoken about by many spiritual teachers. It is a journey since you, the reader will be taken on an adventure, deep within yourself, that you will be navigating.

My “story” is a map of my experiences which will awaken in you, your story, or a deeper understanding of it. It is your adventure, your journey that will come alive during the course of this book.

We are all searching in one way or anther, to one degree or another, one level or another. In essence, our stories are all the same. The yearning to be complete... whole... unified beings - whatever that means to us.

The truth is out there ...

and in here

inside each of us.

When walking one’s path, one eye should be looking at the feet.

See that they are touching the ground and being careful not to stumble.

Be mindful of the journey.

One eye fixed on the destination so as not to become confused and lose one’s way.

Remain diligent.

This leaves no eyes to look behind and get caught up in that which slows us down, causes us to stagnate or lose ground. The feet cannot move in one direction and the eyes in another.

You can’t walk a straight line while going in circles - feet in one place , eyes another, heart still another, mind somewhere else, body here, soul there.

May you find your way, remain strong and walk your path in light and love.

Allow me now to share briefly what started me on my path.

   It was as if I was forced into an arranged marriage, This incarnation of mine. At some point I had agreed to it and now that agreeing was a distant memory. Here and now I felt like a prisoner. The more I objected, the more demanding were my captors with eyes everywhere, resistance was futile. There was a part of me that would not surrender. A part in love with someone else and though wretched apart we were still, and I thought always would be together.  I soon realized that all of these characters were various aspects of myself.

   Little by little my life as I knew it fell away. “Friends” disappeared, circumstances changed, leaving me feeling alone. I was certain no one understood me. For all their professions of being “psychic” they couldn’t see who I was or more importantly who I was becoming. I felt alone. I would seek out elders and teachers and again, I was alone. Surely I had so much yet to learn and there was no one to teach me?

   There it was again that ominous, foreboding anxiety that I was out of space and time. Dropped here from some distant planet, left to make my way with no guide, alone. It seemed as though I had no choice in the matter. Sometime, somewhere it was deemed as my destiny. And the black-hole, that large expanse of nothingness; would I get lost in it and perish there before my destiny was fulfilled? - only if that was my destiny.

   I was torn, a sensation of being almost schizophrenic haunted me. Although I wouldn’t lose time, the true concept of time seemed to allude me. Reality was vivid yet twisted and somehow inconsistent, as if living in two separate dimensions simultaneously. That was it, I was walking between the worlds. Not only of the seen and unseen, but also between the ones I had created. The worlds my mind created to accommodate my desires and ignorance were troublesome. Somehow I knew this. A seed of truth was born in me before I had been veiled in illusion. Now I had to nurture that seed so it could grow and the truth could come forth in all it’s glory.

   This explained why I felt as if I didn’t belong. Why it seemed that the love of my life was alluding me. Why a part of me was so attached to the physical world complete with all its trappings and a part of me wanted to be in solitude. More and more the urging to live a fully spiritual life was rising up inside me. If I prescribed to any one tradition I would have become a renunciate fully devoted to the path of oneness with the Divine.

   I realized that although I seemed to be walking on many paths, the destination was the same. I knew that what I had been longing for and searching for would not be found with others, it would be found within myself. The journey always takes us back home, back to ourselves. The scattered pieces of my being, of my soul, of my mind were never lost, just hidden deep within me. The journey to the center of my being was drawing all these pieces together again. The empty space inside me was being filled by the essence that was me all along. I wasn’t alone after all, I was becoming all-one.

   Now I needed to reconcile being in this world and not of it. To reach a compromise between my longing to leave it behind and my destiny to be very much a part of it.

   All the times I felt I was alone, I preferred it, my own company was much more to my liking. Although there are and were people I enjoyed spending time with, when it came time for us to go our separate ways it felt like the it was the right thing. It was very freeing and after a brief period of adjustment I would be on to the next thing that caught my interest. There are so many adventures to go on, why limit myself by trying to hold onto something that doesn’t want to be held onto.

   This release, this letting go was very freeing. To release what had outgrown its usefulness and was no longer working gave me a new lease on life. This made space for even more wonderful things to come into my life. To realize what were once stepping stones were now obstacles, allowed me to put down my burdens and ease on down the road. By releasing my attachment to what had been, allowed me to realize the attainment of what was to be.

   Being most unconventional, while it made others crazy and they would worry about me or resist my way of being, afforded me a resilience and fortitude to do what I must do. Knowing that their objections were projections of their own fear and insecurity. Seeing that their attempts to manipulate or change me were futile, reconfirmed my resolve to live my life according to my own convictions.

   So I came to understand that whatever corners I found myself backed into or prisons I was caught in, were of my own imagining. I had created seeming limitations in my life as puzzles to test my resourcefulness. With each one I solved I was steps closer to the Ultimate Truth. I was re-sourced or reconnected with the Source.

   As children of the Light in this play of consciousness, we are on a journey home. My duty as I know it is to stand before you and share my experiences and understandings and help to shed light where I can.

   This book is but one small offering.

   One of the multitude of manifestations coming into being from the infinite source of Grace.

   In Light and Love - my gratitude,  Robin

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